In the shallow end...

I have been floating along in the shallow end of Life for a bit. Life events... health issues, house guests, and just the speed of daily living... have kept me so occupied that I have just been spiritually floating along. No, not even floating; I've been wading and wallowing in the shallows.

I don't particularly like it in the shallow end. That end can quickly become mucky and muddy. Clarity is hard to find. And you don't even want to think about what is in all the muck and mud! The shallow end is where most people dwell, and some aren't even aware of it, except for those occasional nudges that makes them wonder what being in the clear moving depths would be like.


It makes me think of my grandson at his last birthday party, which was held at a swimming pool. A couple of his friends would run with abandon and leap into the pool, making a huge splash and then resurfacing, shaking the water off their faces and hair. Moe was carefully climbing down the ladder, or sliding in from sitting on the edge of the pool. He watched them a few times and then came over to me. "I wish I could do that, Grandma," he whispered to me, as one jumped in. I looked at him and whispered back, "Then just do it." I told him he could hold his nose shut and shut his eyes, if he wanted to. But he looked back at me, turned and ran the few feet to the pool, and jumped in, making a HUGE splash, and coming up grinning. The rest of the day, that is how he entered the pool. How brave! And what Joy it gave him... and me. I hope he always remembers to let go of the fears that keep him from jumping in over his head. I hope, when he finds himself wallowing in the mire of the shallow end, he will find the courage to take the leaps that send him into the deep, clear waters of Life.


And I, too, am again ready to take a few dives into the deeper waters of Life... Here's hoping I make a huge SPLASH and come up grinning!

Every day is a new day....

There are days when the alarm radio goes off, and I hear such distressing news to begin my day: horrible weather events that have devastated so many lives; war and ugly politics; people behaving badly, though they claim Christ's name.

I confess that it makes me want to cover my head and stay in bed. But to do so would be to miss out on all the rest of it: the things that don't make the early morning news. If my head was under my pillow, I would miss my dog's wagging tail. I would miss the constant hum of the busy bees in our garden trees. I would miss the sunset, and the play of spring storm clouds across our big sky. I would miss the tart taste of rhubarb, and the wake-up smell of coffee. I would miss the feel of a new skein of wool winding through my fingers, and the indescribable feel of paint smoothing across a canvas. I would miss the call from a friend and the hug from my husband.


Each day is a new day; a day the Lord has made for me. He wants me to rejoice and be glad in it. I have had some days recently when 'rejoicing and being glad' just felt like too much work. And sometimes it does take effort. Those are the times when I need to go for a walk to watch the young owls, or get out my guitar and make some loud and joyful noise...


... because each day is a new day, and the Lord is waiting to share it with me.

A day of darkness...

Today is the day the Christian world memorializes the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. Today is the day we can come closer to understanding the unfathomable love God has for us. Though there are few of us who would give our own lives for others, especially those whom we know don't deserve it, who among us would willingly allow our son, the most beloved part of ourselves, to die for others. On this day, God wept. He wept so deeply, the sun could not shine, the temple curtains tore apart in sorrow, the earth quaked with God's mourning. The sight of His own beloved son covered with all the sin and shame and horror of all of us, past, present, and until the end of time, caused God to turn away, and that turning hurt. God is Love. And love can hurt a great deal.

Do you not know that God can weep? Can hurt and mourn? John 11:35 says that Jesus wept over the death of his friend, and He told us that if we want to know the Father, we can know Him through the son. What Jesus did, he did to teach us the nature of God. And Jesus wept. So don't you know that this day is still a sad day for our Father? The day He remembers the pain of the death of His beloved child... The day He remembers what was given for us: for our mistakes, our greed, our hatred, our selfishness and meanness, our smallness, our laziness, our lack of faith, for our sin.

Yes, we know that the day will be bright again. Resurrection will come. But today, we need to acknowledge that God gave enough to hurt even Him. He wept tears and cried out in pain because He loves us enough to give what would be the greatest gift a loving Father can give. On this day, we must thank our Father for that gift, we must remember that sacrifice, and perhaps we must even weep a bit with the God who weeps when we are bent down with our own sorrows.

Life requires Bravery...

It seems that no matter what I am reading, watching, or discussing, it becomes more and more evident that just living in today's world requires a great deal of bravery. The roads all feel quite rocky and filled with obstacles, and solutions to problems seldom are simple. We often find ourselves baffled about what to do to make a difference, or even to survive.

My husband and I watched the movie "Invictus" last night. We had not seen it before. I have always been impressed by Nelson Mandela, and this movie made me respect him even more. He was a man who lived and led with bravery. He was brave enough to care, to be kind when kindness was not the norm, and to be forgiving when a lot of forgiveness was needed. His bravery was passed on to a nation that required it to survive. Ours is a nation that requires bravery to survive now, too. It is not the bravery of those with weapons that is needed: it is the bravery of those who will forgive differences of opinion; those who will love unconditionally; those will always act with kindness and generosity. It is the bravery of those who make choices based on what Love and Forgiveness dictates, not on what might and power and wealth try to claim. It is the bravery of those who will speak out for the weaker, the poorer, the uneducated. It is the bravery of those who will demand that we feed and educate and protect those around us. Those brave souls must be us, for who else will be brave if we are not?

Think of the bravery required of Christ in this Holy Week, leading up to the celebration of His resurrection. Even during His final hours, when surely just thinking of His own plight would have required a great deal of bravery, He was thinking of others. He was loving and forgiving.

I have many days when it feels brave enough for me to just to go through my day without doing harm. But it is not brave enough. There is more for me to do. I don't have to lead nations. I don't have to cure the ills of a people or of the world. But I do need to be brave enough to interact with the people God puts in my path with compassion, generosity, forgiveness, and love. And I need to be brave enough to prompt others to follow that path as well. Only if we are all brave, can we make a difference.

Be brave. Be strong and courageous, for you are not alone. Strength will be given to you to do all that God requires. This week, ask for the bravery of Christ in His last week. And expect God to open doors for you to use that bravery, because He will. But He will also walk through those doors with you, and make your efforts more than you could ever hope them to be, on your own.



Nelson Mandela said, "If there are dreams about a beautiful South Africa, there are also roads that lead to their goal. Two of these roads could be named Goodness and Forgiveness."

There's a ringin' of a bell in the back of my mind...

I am just back from Taos. It was a working trip for me, but also a fun get-away and a chance to see different things. As always, I take a lot of photos when I am away from home. I loved this old loom, with a new weaving being done on it and a cross along-side to 'bless' the weaver and his or her work. I am a firm believer that God does bless the work of our hands, when we do it with sincerity and commitment. Christ himself, while one of us, was a craftsman, and tradition and history say he was a fine one. I am sure that whatever He did, He did it for His Father.

I have a large tapestry to finish designing and to warp the loom for. I confess that I am having trouble getting into the studio. Suddenly, there are housework and errands and yard and garden work demanding my attention. There are friends and loved ones who 'need' me. It is very hard to turn my back on all that good work, to go into my studio and weave in solitude, ignoring dust bunnies as they roll past the door, and pets looking at me longing for a walk. But if I do not do that, the tapestry will not be woven. Would that be a great loss to anyone, if one of my tapestries, or all of them, went unwoven? Probably not. But my work is my voice in the world, and God has been 'troubling me' in my thoughts and dreams and quiet moments to go to the studio and weave.

Susan Werner has written a beautiful song that often goes through my mind when I am procrastinating in doing what I know I need to be doing. It's called "Did Trouble Me". Find and listen to it, if possible; it will become a favorite! Here are lyrics from the last verse and chorus:

In the whisper of the wind, in the rhythm of a song
My Lord will trouble me.
To keep me on the path where I belong,
My Lord will trouble me.

Will trouble me,
With a word or a sign,
With the ringing of a bell in the back of my mind.
Will trouble me,
Will stir my soul,
For to make me human, to make me whole.

My Lord's been troublin' me to get busy! So to the studio I will go today, to work on the Nativity tapestries and to warp the loom. God watered the garden and yard for me yesterday, so I do not need to fret about that task, and all else will hold for at least today.

Out of darkness...

As the darkness of winter passes into uncertain spring, we are having days that are neither winter, nor yet spring. Yet there is a changing of the light. I suffer a bit with seasonal depression; a winter malady that I seem to share with several friends and family members, and countless creative people, past and present. As the season changes, we are not yet clear of that darkness of mood, but I am beginning to feel some hope.

I do not know whether I am an artist because of my fascination with darkness and light, or if that fascination exists because I am an artist. It matters little which came first; like the silly chicken/egg debate. But my fascination with the contrast of darkness and light extends beyond the physical. It extends as well beyond the psychological; it extends furthest into the spiritual realm. The contrast between good and evil in the Bible is often referred to as a battle of dark vs. light. There is so much spiritual darkness in the world. Even those who are not attempting to look through God's eyes feel it and know it to be real and powerful. My grandchildren are just beginning to enjoy the Harry Potter books. I am certain the popularity of that allegorical story is because we can all understand that the battle between good and evil, or light and darkness, is a real one, and we all want to see the darkness overcome.

The photo above is one of many that I have taken where the subject matter is the contrast of dark and light. It was taken on one of the Boston Islands, in an old underground fortification. I felt a very heavy darkness there that was from more than just a lack of light. It was a relief to be able to keep an eye on distant light. Sometimes, the light does feel distant, and not nearly bright enough. But I keep my eyes on it. I stay as closely as I can in it's presence. And I make the attempt to let it shine through me, so that others are not left in the darkness we all fear.

It seems very important to me right now, with so much pain and suffering and disaster we cannot control in the world, to keep focusing on that eternal Light. Thus it has always been, and thus it will be forever...

Light Shining out of Darkness

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm.

Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sovereign will.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.
William Cowper

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Young sixteen-year-old Patrick of England was kidnapped, taken to Ireland, and sold as a slave, much like Joseph was. After six years of slave labor, herding livestock for an Irish chieftain, he escaped and made his way back to Britain. In spite of his hardships, as Joseph had done before him, he believed God had a hand in not only his deliverance, but also in his captivity. When back home, he began his studies to become a priest. During that time, he had dreams, in which God told him to go back to Ireland, to forgive and help the people there. After he was ordained, he spent 30 years in Ireland, spreading his faith and establishing churches, and spending time in solitude, retreat, and prayer.

I am fascinated with how God repeated Joseph's story in the life of Patrick of Ireland. Here is a prayer that is attributed to Patrick:

Christ be with me,
Christ before me,
Christ behind me,
Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.

May this be your prayer on this St. Patrick's Day, as you strive to replace your small life with the large life God has planned for you! As Joseph, son of Jacob, did, and as Patrick of Ireland did.


And don't forget the 'wearin' of the green' or some stinker will pinch you!